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, by Frank Ostaseski
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Product details
File Size: 1753 KB
Print Length: 305 pages
Publisher: Flatiron Books (March 14, 2017)
Publication Date: March 14, 2017
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B01KTBCZD4
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Many years I ago I was a young busy mother, curious and interested in volunteering with those with chronic illnesses or approaching death. My dream was to volunteer at Bailey Boushay House in Seattle. (first hospice to welcome AIDS patients in the nation and now a hospice for AIDS and those with terminal illnesses) Many years later with kids grown and gone, I set out with a plan. That plan involved volunteering with Bailey Boushay House, returning to school in healthcare (Occupational Therapy) and enrolling in the End of Life Program at the Metta Institute (Frank Ostaseski, founder). I bought Franks' "Being a Compassionate Companion" CD as I embarked on my journey. Having listened to the CD, narrated by Frank and then attending the End of Life Practitioner Program, I can tell you, this book has so much "voice"! IT is like being in the same room having a conversation or lecture with this author. I think about what the movie "To Sir, with Love" taught us about life lessons that still resonate today, well THE FIVE INVITATIONS takes us on a journey where the "approach" to death is actually approachable and the birthing of new insight into the end of life is sorely needed in this world. I usually give away my books after reading them , not this one....it will be reread over and over. As I closed the last chapter, my eyes filled with tears......this book touched me in a deep and profound way......it leaves you "okay" with not having all the answers and a up close personal feel with a subject our culture avoids...
When I was 12, my mom died of cancer. It spread from her lungs to her brain, briefly going into remission to cruelly give us hope before slowly killing her. For years, I was mad at the world because of this and I turned that anger inward on myself. It was a poisonous way to live, mostly devoid of joy or love. No one could understand how I felt, I thought, so I wouldn't try to explain it to them. Over the last few years, I've learned how to stop poisoning myself. After finishing Frank's book last week, I have a whole new set of tools to use death to embrace life. I also have a new view: We all live and we all die, therefore we all have been touched by death in our own ways. If we haven't been touched yet, we will be. This, to me, means that love and compassion are the ways forward for humanity, even with our enemies or people we've fallen out with.Perhaps I sound like a flit yogi or Woodstock washout, but I'm OK with that if it means I don't have to be owned by pain and fear of death. I know that my mom is within me still in some way, even if just as a lovely memory. Perhaps you can catch of my same high and also gain some new tools for living more fully and with more love from Frank's book. It's very good - I found myself laughing, crying, and rapt by Frank's stories and knowledge at different points of the book. It's a very sweet, helpful, and compassionate book. Frank, who worked has at an end-of-life hospice in San Francisco for decades, has an intimate relationship with death. You'd think this would make him callous or cynical like my childhood self, but quite the opposite is true: he embraces death as reality and is therefore able to live more fully.You can embrace death for a more full life, too. Any of us who have had a relative die might remember their regrets or sorrows, the "I wish I could have.." or "I'm sad I won't be able to..." before death carries them away. We likely know what our own wishes and sorrows are; why wait until the end to address them? Why not learn from our loved ones?Frank's methods for using death to live a more full life are sound. "Don't wait" is his first invitation, and I'm sure we've all had opportunities and moments pass by while we said "Hm, maybe later." Well guess what? This happens with life, too. Don't wait. Frank's anecdotes - sometimes sweet, sometimes gut-wrenching - will help you see how his invitations have worked over the years. I was touched by the many people who died next to Frank, all who seemed to show an immense, seemingly improbable strength in the face of death. Frank's message: we can show this strength in life, too, but it may not necessarily be what we think of as "strength." Vulnerability can be strength, he writes. So can acceptance.Even if all you get from this book is the fact that death is part of life - one that shouldn't be treated as life's deranged cousin - then I think you'll have your money's worth. However, you'll get more than that.A very good book. Read, and then live. But be careful doing both at the same time- after all, we're trying to accept death here, not run toward it.
I was captivated by The Five Invitations, reading it cover-to-cover in a 24-hour period. As I got closer to the end, I found myself reading much slower because I just didn't want it to end. I was inspired by the stories of people both young and old at the end of their lives. The part that impressed me was that it was not just stories of inspiration on how I can embrace my days, but also I found wisdom as a new mom, and how to savor these moments with my little one more. There was a chapter about grief that hit me in a way that was very profound and moving, it opened up a place in my heart about a the loss of a dear friend many years ago, that just hadn't healed. Reading Frank's book gave me a new understanding on how to "be" with that loss and feel complete with it's incompleteness. Thank you for your beautiful book.
The Five Invitations are a guide to a life well-lived. For those who work with people at the end of life or with chronic illness, the book has obvious value. But this book is so much more - it's for all of us.Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a busy attorney, Frank's Five Invitations invite you to live fully, be present in your own life, and to completely immerse yourself in what it means to be human.I first met Frank when I was looking for a way to deepen my work with my clients - cancer patients who were being treated at a large NCI cancer center. What I learned certainly helped me with my work, but the unexpected "extra" was that I began to experience changes in myself and in all of my life as a result of these profound teachings. Now this book is available to share Frank's wisdom more widely. Give yourself a great gift and accept Frank's invitation to "have a cup of tea" with death. A deeper, kinder, more loving, compassionate life awaits you.
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